The Two Week Wait: My tips for keeping your Sanity

The two week wait is the period of time between the embryo transfer and pregnancy test. My patients tell me that waiting is the hardest part of being a fertility patient: Waiting for IVF to start, for your embryo transfer and the hardest wait of all, for the pregnancy test results.

My tips for keeping your sanity:

1. Going through fertility treatment and especially the two week wait can wreak havoc on your emotions. Make sure you have a fertility friend. If you don’t have someone you can share your feelings with, find someone! Find someone through an online support group, therapist, friend or family member.
2. Find a mantra and write it down and repeat it. One of my favorites: “Success is around the corner. I will have a baby one way or another.” Find a meditation program through:   Circle+Bloom
3. Find a great acupuncturist. They will also emotionally support you during this time.
4. Consider finding a really great therapist and a fertility coach. They can also be your “Fertility Friend.”
5. Pick out drawers to organize in your home. Go through and organize all your picture files. Both are great distractions. And my favorite distraction? Watching “cute puppy” and “cute kitten” videos on YouTube.
6. Try to resist the urge to do a urine pregnancy test before your scheduled  blood test. It’s so hard not to test early but do what you can to hold off so you don’t get results that mess with your emotions even more.
7. Think about what causes you stress and do what you can to avoid them, especially during the two week wait.
8. Not everyone gets pregnant with IVF. Going through the two week wait to have negative results is devastating. It’s important to make sure you have your team in place to support you during this time. I ask my patients to come in and see me within days following a negative pregnancy test so we can talk about next steps and make a plan. Ask for help and remember that it’s going to be okay.

Prepare for the two week wait so it doesn’t make you question your sanity. This email thread below posted with permission will hopefully help you realize that you’re not alone.

EMAIL THREAD STARTING DAY OF TRANSFER:

Patient:   As I’m eating pineapple core, I just wanted to tell you, no matter what happens, how much I appreciate you, and how lucky I am to have you on this journey with me!!! See you in 8 days!!

Patient 5 hours later: Hi 🙂 I was just wondering if a hatching embryo is a good sign? Was it still considered a 4AA embryo…. or when its starts to hatch does it mean its progressed even more and its now a 5AA?

Dr. Aimee: It was a 5AA at transfer. They continue to grow after thaw 🙂

Patient: Yay that makes me so happy!! I have a really really good feeling 🙂 🙂 Have a great night Aimee!

ONE DAY POST TRANSFER
Patient: Hi Aimee! Not really feeling too much one day post transfer. Feeling pretty normal. Maybe random small cramps (maybe it’s in my head) but would this be normal 1 day post transfer, or would I feel something if it worked? I’m sure you get this question all the time. God I hope it worked!! Have a good night 🙂

Dr. Aimee: Totally normal. I don’t expect you to feel anything different.

TWO DAYS POST TRANSFER
Patient: Hi Aimee! I know I’m being paranoid but I feel like I am not pregnant because I still don’t really feel much!! Sorry for being crazy lol. Do you think I would feel something different by now or is it common not to feel anything yet? Haha. I think it’s because I am stuck at home watching YouTube videos.  So many people say they feel cramping on days 2 and 3 after transfer, sore boobs, etc…and that they just KNOW! Okay I know I’m being looney. You’re the only person I have to vent to right now haha! My husband already is like STOPPPPP! Okay I’ll relax now. Have a good day!

Dr. Aimee: 🙂 Hi! Assume you won’t feel a thing until you’re 7 weeks pregnant. You’re totally normal.

THREE DAYS POST TRANSFER

Patient: Good Morning Aimee, Please tell me you have had patients that don’t think they are pregnant and are super surprised when they find out they are after a  FET? I am having mini depression bouts worried that this didn’t work. I literally thought my boobs looked veiny last night (maybe they always have looked that way), and I took a pregnancy test. OBVIOUSLY it was NEGATIVE and I know I shouldn’t have done that.

I also haven’t had any cramping at all (maybe I have but nothing significant) and I also sometimes feel exactly the same as if my period was coming. I am so scared that this didn’t work and I’m looking for some/any reassurance. I also know you said assume you won’t feel anything until 7 weeks, but it’s so hard not to dwell on the fact that I am feeling normal (or not “different”)

Are you 1000% sure the embryo was in the exact right spot? I am so crazy right now, I know 🙁

Even if it doesn’t work, I need to be prepared to move on. I don’t know why but I am feeling really sad today 🙁

Thanks for taking the time to read!

Dr. Aimee:  I would say most patients I have to convince that they are pregnant. I think I’m worried that you’re worrying too much. And that can’t help. I want you to try a coping mechanism called letting go. I want you to chant: I’m going to have a baby one way or another, success is around the corner. I want you to literally say that 10 times. Because all this other stuff you are doing to yourself isn’t good for you.
Repeat after me:
“I’m going to have a baby one way or another,
Success is around the corner”
Stay away from the internet and email me if you’ve any more questions.

FOUR DAYS POST TRANSFER

Patient: Okay so I have a question that’s been lurking all day. I know we only transferred one embryo but are you likely to feel less symptoms when you transfer a singleton as opposed to if you transfer 2 or 3 embryos? That’s my last question of the day 🙂

Dr. Aimee: No. I’d say you still wouldn’t expect to feel much of anything.

Patient: Okay. Crazy lady is going to sleep now. Don’t worry, I’m really not stressing that much anymore.  My friend told me she didn’t feel anything in the beginning either and it’s such a mind $!%#.

Dr. Aimee: I think 99% don’t feel any different.

FIVE DAYS POST TRANSFER 

Patient: And should I not take any more pregnancy tests? I am so tempted to before my beta.

Dr. Aimee: Have you been doing them already?

Patient: Lol. Yesterday and today. They have been negative. I know I shouldn’t. But I think I have a problem / obsession.

Dr. Aimee: So once you start you can’t stop taking the tests. It’s merely impossible. The compulsion to check every day and even multiple times a day is really strong. If I tell you to stop, you may not even be able to. It sounds nuts, I know.  Just so you know it’s normal to get negatives right now on a urine test. You may not even detect a positive for another 3 days.

Patient: Hahahah! Well I only have one left. Unless I buy more. I was scared you were going to scold me or tell me to stop haha. I’ll see if I cave or not. Keep you posted either way!

SIX DAYS POST TRANSFER
Patient: I didn’t test today. I can’t. It freaks me out.

SEVEN DAYS POST TRANSFER

Patient: OMG blood test tomorrow I will know if I’m pregnant in less than 24 hours. Please say an extra prayer for me tonight because I’m freaking out (but I’m okay haha). Please please please let it work! I hope your gut tells you I am going to be positive 🙂

Dr. Aimee: I’ll be praying too.

Patient: Thank you Aimee!! 🙂 Everything we did makes sense why it should work. Genetic Testing, ERA test, the “scratch.” The only thing that would make me not pregnant is just because of statistics…that it doesn’t work 100% of the time. That’s what I keep telling myself. I just wish I had symptoms but I know so many people have NO symptoms.

Patient: OH MY GOD. I couldn’t resist. I tested. The FAINTEST second line. Even showed hubbie to confirm. OMG!!! I’ve been depressed and eating because I thought I wouldn’t be hahaha! I am so happy. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. I love you!!!!

EIGHT DAYS POST TRANSFER: The positive pregnancy test was confirmed.  I realize that not every patient has results like this. Hoping that support from family, fertility friends and your team will help you when you need them most. Believe a blessing is coming your way.

Disclosure: My blog is not in place of medical advice from your personal physician. Always talk to your doctor about your situation to get the help you need.